With Our Snacks Combined! Why Cheetos and Flips are lost

Peanut Butter Lover. I am that and that is me. Of the few labels I can more than confidently attach to myself and proudly declare; this is one.


Cheese. I love cheese.


I love the two so much for a few years in my childhood I would regularly make peanut butter and cheddar cheese sandwiches. It’s still not a bad sandwich. Of course, some restaurants have mastered it.


USA — here I was born, mostly raised and culturally assimilated. Perhaps my father being from an epicenter of peanuts (Idaho) has some to do with my love of peanut butter. Home of CHEETOS
Germany—here I live. Here is the homeland of my mother and now my home. Cheese lovers. Ignorant to the beauty and diversity of peanut butter. Home of FLIPS

Here is a declaration for the absorption of a damn damn good idea seen in Germany → Hey, America, where the hell are the Flips?! Hey Germany, let your people eat the Cheetos!


Americans. Love peanut butter. At times I have the PB-Blasphemous thought, “Maybe, jussst maybe we have gone over the Peanut Butter top”. Then I laugh maniacally and remind myself the more peanut butter one consumes the better their evolutionary advantage. It’s like consuming the raw power of legendary mythical folk, e.g. Chuck Norris. Point is…


Why, as the most peanut butter consuming area of the world, do we not have peanut type like Cheetos things in the USA? Or, do we and I’m just missing it? Flips are a Peanut Butter lovers culinary mouth orgasm. Even peanut butter recreational users seem to like them (e.g. Germans).


And WHY, does such a cheese loving people not have Cheetos?! Cheetos are the thing that I am requested most to bring back from the USA trip. They love them. People find ways to get some from the military commisary in Germany. It’s a Cheetos black market! In a few days I’m practically a Cheetos smuggler taking back multiple party and regular Cheetos bags on the plane.


So, let’s rebuild the alliance with Germany that the NSA so graciously eroded.


USA, “We want your flips!”


Germany, “We’ll take those Cheetos!”


And here begins a new golden economic age and unprecedented world peace as the whole world harmoniously participates in the glory and brilliance of a Cheetos-like-snack and a Flips-like-snack. Available for all the world to enjoy in good company while giggling and joking together in harmony until the inevitable quietly content most delicious munchie session ensues. Or we could eat Peanut Butter filled pretzels.


Hey Cheetos and Flips, you’re welcome for the free pitch so I’ll now take a job as your master taste-tester. I’m not kidding.