I'm one horribly depressing plague and I suppose it makes sense why one and all should veer from this that I am.

"Now you're knocking at my door
Saying please come out against the night
But I would rather be alone
Than pretend I feel alright ....

Now I'm Ready to Start
I would rather be wrong
Than live in the shadows of your song
My mind is open wide
And now I'm ready to start "

Ahhh yes,

money control

Here are some stats that show how hierarchal institutions control our lives. Why do the rich get richer and the poor poorer? Because we do nothing about it except post it in a blog.

• 83 percent of all U.S. stocks are in the hands of 1 percent of the people.
• 61 percent of Americans "always or usually" live paycheck to paycheck, which was up from 49 percent in 2008 and 43 percent in 2007.
• 66 percent of the income growth between 2001 and 2007 went to the top 1% of all Americans.
• 36 percent of Americans say that they don't contribute anything to retirement savings.
• A staggering 43 percent of Americans have less than $10,000 saved up for retirement.
• 24 percent of American workers say that they have postponed their planned retirement age in the past year.
• Over 1.4 million Americans filed for personal bankruptcy in 2009, which represented a 32 percent increase over 2008.
• Only the top 5 percent of U.S. households have earned enough additional income to match the rise in housing costs since 1975.
• For the first time in U.S. history, banks own a greater share of residential housing net worth in the United States than all individual Americans put together.
• In 1950, the ratio of the average executive's paycheck to the average worker's paycheck was about 30 to 1. Since the year 2000, that ratio has exploded to between 300 to 500 to one.
• As of 2007, the bottom 80 percent of American households held about 7% of the liquid financial assets.
• The bottom 50 percent of income earners in the United States now collectively own less than 1 percent of the nation’s wealth.
• Average Wall Street bonuses for 2009 were up 17 percent when compared with 2008.
• In the United States, the average federal worker now earns 60% MORE than the average worker in the private sector.
• The top 1 percent of U.S. households own nearly twice as much of America's corporate wealth as they did just 15 years ago.
• In America today, the average time needed to find a job has risen to a record 35.2 weeks.
• More than 40 percent of Americans who actually are employed are now working in service jobs, which are often very low paying.
• or the first time in U.S. history, more than 40 million Americans are on food stamps, and the U.S. Department of Agriculture projects that number will go up to 43 million Americans in 2011.
• This is what American workers now must compete against: in China a garment worker makes approximately 86 cents an hour and in Cambodia a garment worker makes approximately 22 cents an hour.
• Approximately 21 percent of all children in the United States are living below the poverty line in 2010 - the highest rate in 20 years.
• Despite the financial crisis, the number of millionaires in the United States rose a whopping 16 percent to 7.8 million in 2009.
• The top 10 percent of Americans now earn around 50 percent of our national income.

The source

exposure

-I've undoubted your doubt of mistrust

and now picture this-

the boys crossing railroad tracks

a boundary to the forbidden

and find a cleansing pool where promised

is redemption and loyalty

comrades, love and honor...

the boys are marching dreaming

or days surrounded by those

willing to spill their lifeline for one

and all those that carry poison are vanquished

by the collective of kindred capable of protecting all

-I've diminished a bit of your skeptic

and now form this in your heart-

a broken man reaches for the face

of a woman whom he desires

but his hand is lowered and passes her a thought

saying, "i mend my mind by knowing yours",

and thoughts are spilled and souls exposed

vulnerable, incapable and open they are

to the deceptions of another

but solace is not found in being secure

solace, they discover, is found

by lying open exposed in each other's eyes

and the broken man's wounds are healed

in the open facing the elements of learning another.

-Picture this my skeptic doubtful mistrusting friend,

a world where no back is exposed to an enemy

and all of our being is exposed to a comrade and partner...

to whom we are exposed is our painful death or joyous living.

nothing

now a driven one would certainly find

that all in all all is done when

anything asked as apparent allowable

aspirations

not to be sought

is the end of humankind...

and as apathetic

humans hum

to themselves

while withholding wonderful

daring dreams desires & drive

from forward

magnificent minds

we shall find ourselves doomed and destructed

by the ends of moving, doing, and thinking nothing.

exert

An exert from an email I wrote:

It would be great to return to Germany and Paraguay in that year off. I find myself when I am there, in the home of my blood and in the land of where I would give my blood to protect. I'm not talking about protecting the state of Paraguay, but the nation of people, indigenous and non-indigenous alike, that I have grown to love so much. I wish not to be another white male progressive activist who assumes a role of "caretaker" or inspirational leader of those people. To me that is another form of colonialism when we offer "our knowledge" and aid as the only solution to "their primitive condition". While I am sad for their hardships I do not pity these people and pity is not what drives me to action. I have learned of the beautiful intricacies of a people, of many peoples, and as near as possible as allowed I have placed myself beside them. I hope they see it as much as I do as a mutual relationship. What bugs me so much about NGO's and other non-profit organization is the condescending attitude to those they aid. I hate the look of pity in their eyes and the inability to have a resolute look of respect in the eyes when measuring the people in impoverished situations. Now, not all organizations or people in the organizations have this ignorant perspective and I cannot brush aside the good that is done via the medium of human outreach so long as they have no neo-liberal agenda. Curse the spread of modern day indenturism and curse the Debt King and our inability to open our dimmed eyes the virtual slavery to which we are held and the majority of the world more-so than us. Most of all curse the corporations which "legally" have more human rights than a human being and curse the few patriarchs that control all the buttons and switches in the world...curse their secret organizations that in vain good people attempt the expose. Curse the bars that hold political prisoners and curse that apathy and indifference that imprisons that majority of America...and the world. Curse me for not doing enough and curse me for having fallen into this Rat Race. BUT, thanks for the concept of change and thanks for the fortitude of the groups of individuals in our lives that inspire us through mutual recognition of love and loyalty. The love of friends, family and peers in battle for the life where the deaf can hear, the blind can see, and the mute can shout for reason of pure joy. This is not future, this is to be now.

hmmph

"step or stone, breath or bone. Earth, air and water all seems accursed. But so our path is laid"

-Tolkien

Invictus

By William Earnest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.