I ate my demon for breakfast -- and we like it:

---

there is an unanswerable …

rather, unobtainable answer 

for what can be comprehended concerning the human ==>> 

concerning that which many of us find as insatiable voids, 

our ever-all-consuming internal malignants.

there is an exciting fear that comes from glancing inward

to those creatures that hoard all our energies

and ecstasy and hedonist rapture we find only

through horrid unspeakable acts. 

said acts satiate and placate 

a monster sleeps in peace…………………..

but every demon wakes and every demon craves

and senseless it is to abate

for your inner-denizen is worse off as one estranged 

---

peace and freedom are also what it craves

thereto found through a unified menage

for we are what we are and that one can never eliminate. 

[Embrace.]

--------------------------

Photo credits: 

- First

- Second

A Pathetic Human Being -- on epiphanies...

It simply was a depressing time. He simply was a pathetic human being. The self-realization was compact, direct and… simple. It was as if he himself brought to his presence a wonderful and tightly wrapped package.

So in his own reality he created a scenario:

The contents were singular. In the package was a Yak Bak. This antiquated ancient artifact added a retrospective element to his experience. He knew what it was. It was an emblem of innocence. It was one tightly wound and deep reaching symbol but the referent was not easily defined.

This creature, being graced with an infinite capability for inner-reality scenario creation did not take long to arrange the scenario in which this Yak Bak was created and for what it was destined.

[[[ A moment to explain the importance of ‘inner-reality scenario creation’ (termed as such for lack of better symbols). As a pathetic human being that spends the majority of time drawn inward and in solitary presence it is quite difficult to be convinced by outward sources and inward reflection that the scenarios created in the mind are less of a reality than that which is experienced in the physical realm in which we all assume we participate. One self-aware that they are subject to such a tendency must consciously convince and remind oneself that a scenario (complete with actors from their physical reality, actions, idea exchanges, dialogue, etc.) created in their mind was nothing more than an scenario experienced in their inner reality. They must remind themselves that the actors in their inner reality that match actors in the physical reality in appearance and name are not necessarily co-dependent. One cannot hold resentment for a peer in the physical reality for the actions they performed in the inner reality. For some a meditative and conscious practice is needed to harness and control this. Some have no control. Some are not aware. Some do not care. Many do not compartmentalize and all realities blur into one mesh. We will not speak to the ethics, what should or shouldn’t be, nor of the consequences… it is how it occurs. ]]]

Knowing the Yak Bak’s origins he was hesitant to push the ‘play’ button being fearful of what he himself had recorded for he himself to hear. He knew the actors in all realities represented one referent that shared all the same information. But lost in his own network he could not seem to find the memory among his countless libraries. He could not find the memory, a caveat, to prepare himself for a more than likely epiphany. Perhaps this is more than likely as he programmed it. Planned it. Formed and molded what was to be.

He feared epiphanies. He feared the existence outside of time. He feared the moment that could not exactly be defined as a moment. Better said, it was an idea without form. He feared the form he must place following the epiphany. As with any great ‘ah-hah!’ there came the come down in which confrontation of the self and others were necessary. There came the pain of growing and changing. The pain of adapting. The unraveling of what the idea meant and was meant to be; how it played out in his realities. Fear, pain, unknowns… “Better it be me,” he thought, “for I am truly addicted to functioning outside of my first reality.” Addicted to fear, or rather, the beautiful consequences of confronting a fear, he finally pushed ‘play’.

He heard a voice of a child. He knew it to be he.

…. “You are to enter a great War. There will be a tearing of realities and the soldiers of the future will not firing weapons but typing. Ideas will be your weapons and practice in alternative realities. Be comfortable being adaptive and perform actions mentally, digitally and physically. Last of all, stop being a pathetic human being” ….

He had closed his eyes as he listened and was willingly, dutifully and intentionally existing in the margins of realities. Time became an elementary concept. He was again wandering in an epiphany. At once, from his center, simultaneously gazing and studying every reality. With every perspective he took in the details while keeping the forest for the trees. Then the rush of epiphany awakened every component and he was ready.

It had been too long since he was not the pathetic human being. It had been too long that he allowed the actions of others in a single physical reality rule and victimize his story. Ready he was and ready he is to jump in as a cog in a machine, a universe among universes ready to function as one complete being and fix these ruptures and cancer in our realities.

SuckIt NSA: My encryption coming-out party

Dear NSA and affiliates,
I am no longer hiding from you.  I am demanding you dismantle your unjustified surveillance.  I am telling you to go away.  I will no longer encrypt my activities because I fear using my right to free speech.  I am no longer afraid of Big Brother, because Big Brother must and will go.  Here I am... fuck you.
Best regards,
me.
---->
 
I have long functioned with the assistance of VPN services and also TOR in order to protect my privacy and not help institutions in our Surveillance State conglomerate my identity and participation in activist events, movement culture, radical politics all into one cute package.  Basically, I encrypted my movements because I did not, with the knowledge that the NSA and affiliates DO spy, want that to stop me from practicing free speech.  The knowledge that one is watching you does effect to what degree you are going to be honest with the current going-ons in our corrupt governments, corporations, police forces, military, etc etc. etc.
This week I have decided to have my encryption coming-out party.  No longer am I going to fly underneath the radar and guise my Twitter handles, blogs, emails and other accounts.  Not that I am even completely sure my VPN and Tor protected that in the first place.  Basically, I'm saying, "Fuck you NSA, here I am, you want my identity then have it!".
Now let me explain something else in addition to that.  I have promised myself that I will continue to unabashedly participate just as much as I previously had done with encryption protection.  I understand the necessity for others to continue encrypting their activity ...this is just a personal decision for me.  The greatest power of coercive governments and institutions is 'Fear', and that fear for me has been hiding and not connecting all the beliefs I have placed in cyber reality with the singular individual I am in physical reality.  I just want to figuratively stand up on the internet and say to the Surveillance State, "It's only a matter of time before the world dismantles your corporately interested spy engines."

Free ------ dum.

I've been so lucky in life to be the by-product of cross-culturing -- an interesting mix between sometimes paradoxical dichotomy.  I must admit it's been quite the fight and the tension experienced due to such a formula has, up to this point, left me void of processing identity and therein I find difficulty in those steps that follow with a fully (as near as one can get) processed identity.  That's not to say identity is static by any means, quite the contrary.
I suppose the point I'm attempting to reach is that I've been in slow in figuring out in life what is important to me and with which things I tend to identify.  And that brings me to one I find important after many experiences this remains ---->
Freedom is a symbol (as any word) with too many referents.  Unfortunately for humans our inefficient communication (symbols and referents) leads to an exceptional amount of cross-and-intra-cultural miscommunication.  Now dammit we need to neurological evolve and physically mutate to be able to communicate in sonar like dolphins and whales!  Anyway, that's a rant for another time, one I am taking time to research and hoping one day to deeply delve into the subject....
back to the point at hand -- freedom. 
I suppose a word to cross-reference my idea would be autonomy. 
Having lived in locales with no rule of law, others with little and mostly ignored, surveillance state, rigid European norms, rules, etc. for everything ... und so weiter.  I've found in all I've conducted myself the same and not according to the cliche that humans will act selfishly and somehow evil if there is no law or norm/standard for every act for every living moment of our day.  I behave as myself without the micromanaging by a police, camera, by-law, familial member, boss, etc..... and I think I'm far from alone with this. 
It's getting to the point where authorities in this world are feeling power shift; the imminent threat of losing what they deem "theirs".  Just like a stubborn and shitty parent who, rather than grant autonomy (and all the principles attached to this) to a "rebelling" teenager, strangles and attempts to smoother (i.e. control) their child... we all know how this story ends.  We also know the inevitable always happens and that teenager breaks free and processes an identity that they can consider their own.  Sometimes such a battle is indeed intense and dangerous.  Collateral in a battle of wills can extend horizontally and vertically bringing down much in it's wake. 
I know that is a shitty and undeveloped metaphor filled with holes but I think one can understand to which it is I refer...........
Powers-that-be are not a boogie-man metaphor.  They literally are institutions with groups and individuals intent on power and control.  Men and women with deep issues filled with skewed perceptions of reality and what it means to be human.  A few have the clarity to see the world for what it has become and the extremely negative consequences due to their actions and policies but are drunk on power and greed to stop -- filed with insatiable desire for adoration and gratification. 
My point... the harder you squeeze the longer you may hold and control but the larger the reaction.  As the pendulum now swings in it's critical mass, take heed, and be prepared for the pendulum to swing in it's opposite direction.
All I seek is autonomy for myself.  Autonomy for those with which I network.  A world where much is based on mutuality.  A Freedum of unnecessary bureaucracy and complexities... A simplicity...
Fuck me; I know such a thing is a paradise lost and not to be seen with my living eyes BUT knock me out and bury me alive if I ever stop attempting to form that world with those forces that I have in my orbital dance.