It would be great to return to Germany and Paraguay in that year off. I find myself when I am there, in the home of my blood and in the land of where I would give my blood to protect. I'm not talking about protecting the state of Paraguay, but the nation of people, indigenous and non-indigenous alike, that I have grown to love so much. I wish not to be another white male progressive activist who assumes a role of "caretaker" or inspirational leader of those people. To me that is another form of colonialism when we offer "our knowledge" and aid as the only solution to "their primitive condition". While I am sad for their hardships I do not pity these people and pity is not what drives me to action. I have learned of the beautiful intricacies of a people, of many peoples, and as near as possible as allowed I have placed myself beside them. I hope they see it as much as I do as a mutual relationship. What bugs me so much about NGO's and other non-profit organization is the condescending attitude to those they aid. I hate the look of pity in their eyes and the inability to have a resolute look of respect in the eyes when measuring the people in impoverished situations. Now, not all organizations or people in the organizations have this ignorant perspective and I cannot brush aside the good that is done via the medium of human outreach so long as they have no neo-liberal agenda. Curse the spread of modern day indenturism and curse the Debt King and our inability to open our dimmed eyes the virtual slavery to which we are held and the majority of the world more-so than us. Most of all curse the corporations which "legally" have more human rights than a human being and curse the few patriarchs that control all the buttons and switches in the world...curse their secret organizations that in vain good people attempt the expose. Curse the bars that hold political prisoners and curse that apathy and indifference that imprisons that majority of America...and the world. Curse me for not doing enough and curse me for having fallen into this Rat Race. BUT, thanks for the concept of change and thanks for the fortitude of the groups of individuals in our lives that inspire us through mutual recognition of love and loyalty. The love of friends, family and peers in battle for the life where the deaf can hear, the blind can see, and the mute can shout for reason of pure joy. This is not future, this is to be now.
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